The Savvy Boomer

Reply to a lottery scammer.

This is a standard letter I send off to scammers.  Of course it's necessary to change the details for each scam but the basics are the same.  One recently wrote back saying that they couldn't wait to meet me.  Other than them, I never get more offers.

Hello Mr. Brant:  I won the lottery?  This is absolutely amazing.  This is the best day of my life-of course until I meet you.  It means I will be able to pay for my mother's nursing home fees and my son's rehab treatments.  Also I can get my car out of repossession, pay my wife's bail bond and tell the bank that they no longer have to foreclose on my house next Friday.  Until a few minutes ago, I had no idea how I could survive with all my financial problems but your email has changed my life.  I was actually contemplating suicide but now, thanks to your email, my life has changed forever.  Praise you and God for the English lottery.

I knew when I bought those tickets when I was in London last week visiting my mother in the hospital, that I was going to be lucky.  I can't believe I won the 2 million pounds.  I was so worried I would never be able to come to London to see her again, but when I told her the blessed news, we reserved a bed for her in a much bigger and better home overlooking the Thames River.  She will be wheeled down by the pond to feed the swans every morning.  I think maybe you have also saved her life as she was becoming very desperate.

You  wanted me to send you some money to cover the cost of expenses of getting my winnings to me, but I have a much better idea.  You won't have to spend any money getting the prize to me because I have decided to help you out.

I am so excited that I am going to fly back to London tomorrow to claim my prize.  I have already booked a first class ticket from Seattle.  It was so expensive but now that I am a millionaire, it is no problem so I just put it on my credit cards-I had to use 4 because I didn't have enough limit left to charge  it all on one because while I have 17 credit cards, most are in serious arrears and some have been canceled. 

I leave at 2:40 pm Seattle time tomorrow and arrive at Heathrow on American Airlines flight 98 on Sun Mar 21 at 11:30 AM.  Is it possible to have your limousine pick me up at the airport?  It would be great if you can, because I will be celebrating the whole way in first class and will still probably be very drunk or even passed out completely.  If not, no worries,  the Four Seasons Hotel where I have booked the best suite will have their limo waiting for me.  It's just that I hope I can get my money immediately.

If you can't meet me, I can then take a limo to your offices later in the day after I sober up and have a spa treatment.  The address is XXXXX London -is that correct?  Should I ask for Mr Campbell or Mr Brant?

If you can send me an email confirming that someone can pick me up at the airport in London by 9am Seattle time (PDT) which is when I will leave for the airport, that would be awesome.  But I may not even get it because I'll probably be shitfaced by the time you send it.

I look forward to meeting you and I will also be bringing some very special gifts for you and all your staff from the Pacific Northwest-some smoked salmon, which I know that all English people enjoy heartedly.  As a matter of fact, I am just waiting to be picked up by my best friend right now and we will buy the salmon (well, actually he will because I only have $12 right now) before we go to the local bar and drink a lot of champagne to celebrate my good fortune.  Do you like American champagne?  I will also bring some for you so we can also celebrate when I get to your venerable offices.

This is the best night of my life.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sneed Hern

I wanna punch the economy in the face

Check out these hilarious outtakes from the E*TRADE baby commercials.

Monty Python videos available on their own YouTube channel

If you're a boomer, chances are you grew up with the humour of Monty Python's Flying Circus.  Their TV series was wildly popular in the UK and found its way to North America.  These guys were all born before the first boomer year-1946, and 5 of the 6 are still alive.   Their channel on YouTube which has most of their TV material in high-def plus some other extras, but no movies yet, is very popular and is responsible for a 23,000 % increase in their DVD sales on Amazon according to Mashable.

Louis CK hits the nail on the head about millenials

This guy sums up in 4 minutes what sometimes I take hours to try and explain to people under 25.  The difference is I try to be nice about it.   Maybe I should take his approach.

We use REALLY BIG can openers in Canada

Well, at least if we buy them at Walmart.

Seniors Day at the golf course

Best of Craigslist

I just wanted to draw your attention to one of the parts of Craigslist that contains possibly some of the funniest posts available on the internet.  Check out the link which is towards the bottom left of their home page to see what I mean.

Life in Canada

I've received a few inquiries lately what life in Canada is like.  Mostly they are from Americans who I guess can't stand the thought of the Republicans forming another government, which, given the state of the Democrats infighting these days is beginning to seem like a clear possibility.

Rather than try to explain it, I thought I'd post a few photographs of common occurrences and every day life in Canada.  Below is an example of what you'll see if you click on the "Continue reading" link.  You'll also get a couple of tips on how to keep your beer cold.